Cash In The Ground
(Original song: Hole In The Ground by Bernard Cribbins)

There Brown was, a-digging this hole
And by Gordon Brown was a pile sort of huge it was
There was he counting it up
There were cash and cheques all lying in a heap
When along comes Harman in a stupor and she looked and scratched her head
Well she looked at the money, went kinda funny and said

Gordon, mind if I make a suggestion

Don’t stay there, move it elsewhere
Just spread it around or you’ll not have a prayer
They say it’s all wrong and the smell is too strong
And you can’t keep the cash where the cash don’t belong

Gord said, what a liberty eh
And started chewing his nails, disgusting

Well there Gord was, stood in his hole
Hugging his stash and the cheques and the all cash
There was him standing down there
So moody and grizzly like a big brown bear
So Hoon came and pushed Harman sideways and dropped to his knees and sighed
Well he sobbed and begged and Brown gave a growl and replied

I just couldn’t bear to move it elsewhere
I’m holding it tight because it’s mine by right
And if you get too close I’ll tell you both
Your going down if they finger me

Well there they were, Harman and Hoon
Discussing the cash and how to get it back
Well it’s there still now, the ground’s now flat
And beneath it is the Scot who didn’t give it back

And that’s that


© Copyright Martin Baum. Layout by those hugely creative guys at Paragon FX.