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Aggie May
(Original song: Maggie May by Rod Stewart)
Come on Aggie, I think we’ve got a blocked up loo to do
We’ll use a stiff brush to make it flush away the poo
This bathroom’s covered in crap
The sink, bath, towels and taps
Oh Aggie just leave that bidet alone
Get this bathroom smelling sweet
Scrub those skid marks off the seat
It’s amazing what people do to get on TV
The morning sun on the kitchen sink really is a state
There’s month old food stuck onto all those mugs and plates
There’s doggy-do on the floor
And cat sick by the door
Oh Aggie just leave that life-form alone
We’ll blitz it with acid Vim
As devised by Aggie and Kim
It’s what we do now we’re big stars on TV
All we need are our fur-trimmed gloves and boiler suits
We love to fumigate, watch germs asphyxiate and wipe them out
Those cockroaches under the bed
We’ll twist our heels and crack their heads
Oh Aggie just leave that dead rat alone
You want us to clean your home
Where mutant life has overgrown
Your filthy slobs with no dignity or pride
I suppose, so far as TV shows, this will run and run
We’re gonna be stars, or so we’ve been told, across the pond
The Yanks are as bad as you
Our wealth is in their poo
Oh Aggie just leave that fresh corpse alone
We’ve made a fortune out of muck
Your excrement has brought us luck
It’s a dirty job but we love it anyway
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